Thursday, September 4, 2014

Well It's bitter sweet that Clint is back on chemo. He's feeling extremely tired and often sick to his stomach....


 I'm doing the best I can. But when he's sick it's a constant reminder that life is not alright and everything is NOT okay... 

To tell you the truth the last week has been hard. I don't know why some days or weeks are easier than others. 

Maybe it's him starting the chemo again, maybe it's My sweet 7 year old Gunner and his hard time and worried little heart that I've been trying to mend this week. He's not only worrying about Clint but now he's worrying about leaving me and having a hard time when I'm away from him. 

I'm sad, heartbroken, and mad today.... Its not fair that my little kids have to think about such horrible things. 

As a parent you want to protect your children and help them feel safe and secure. And be able to tell them everything will be alright....To see them have to realize at such an early age that their Daddy is not invincible and that their fairy tale already isn't perfect is at times more than I can bare. So I try not to think about it (I'm not doing a very good job of that today)

The kids are growing up so fast!  Wyatt says every day 
"Daddy when you gunna die I'm gunna cry. I'm gunna miss my Daddy so much." 

It's weird how we don't talk about 'it' but even at three years old it's on his mind every day too....

Gunner and Neiska both started school recently. Please Heavenly Father send us a miracle...and if not please give us strength and peace....

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