Well Clint's been sick today. He was able to make it through the first hour of church then I sent him home to go back to bed.
After church we had a meeting with Gunner and the bishop to talk about Gunners baptism
(which we are going to do on Clint's birthday September 30th - how cool will that be?!)
I went home to get Clint because he didn't want to miss it and as we were sitting there in the bishops office I could see Clint getting sicker and sicker and soon he excused himself from the room and ran to the bathroom where he threw up.
Ever since he's gotten home he's either been in bed or the bathroom.
Uuggghhh Stinkin' chemo.....
Gunner was sitting on the couch tonight (with a fever and a cough) and said
"Cancer brought us lots of good things but at the same time it's bad."
I had a couple of family parties to attend tonight and going without Clint is hard....I'm glad he's home resting. That's where he should be.....
But the thoughts that I try keep locked away in the back of my heart start to work their way out when he's not around. I'm scared. I don't want to lose my best friend. I don't want my kids to not have their Daddy. My soul mate, my North Star, my second half, my right hand, my happiness, my Dream Man.! The thoughts of a life without him is too much to bare.
Clint and I went to the Temple last Friday and knelt as proxy for Temple marriages....
As I looked across the altar into his eyes filled with tears I felt the pain and sadness that parting this mortal life would bring us but I also felt with a undeniable truth that this life isn't the end. That we WILL be together for eternity because of the sealing powers that were restored to the earth. In that sad and terrible moment I was able to get a glimpse past our hell on Earth and see Heaven....
Heaven where we will be together forever and no pain or sickness will drive us apart. Heaven where our family will be together FOREVER.
I don't want to grow old without my best friend. It's not right. I can't make any plans because a plan without Clint is wrong...