Hi my Dear Friend. Yesterday was a horrible nightmare. And to think I woke up in the morning and even debated putting on waterproof mascara (figuring we had pretty much heard the bulk of the bad news last week) ......BUT.... The Dr asked the PA to grab the entire box of tissues.....
They said the cancer is spreading and speedily growing all over his pelvis area and back. To operate it would put him through losing more quality of life and for some unknown reason it seems to aggravate the cancer and make it worse.
He said untreated he would estimate given its growth rate Clint has 1-2 years left to live. As he sat there telling us this I was horrified to say the least. We both just sat there with tears streaming down our faces.....stunned.... I was so glad Clint's dad was there to ask questions for us while I had no words that would come out of my mouth.
He did recommended the experimental Chemo which has an opening in 4 weeks, and they are still going to watch him "like white on rice" and take each problem one by one and make him as comfortable as possible. Bringing up hospice as a real conversation we might need to have down the road.
As I sat there stunned all I could think was- How can this be true? This isn't fair, What will I do without him? Our life growing old together, our plans, our dreams for our life now ripped out and stolen by this ugly disease..... To be forced to think of my life without him......... breaks......my......heart......In two years Wyatt won't even be in Kindergarten.
We made that appointment for their next opening with the Chemo Dr (which ends up being September 30- Clint's birthday) *uggh*
I wish we could just run away! Wait we ARE....:) Today we leave out of town in a MUCH NEEDED getaway to that family cancer retreat at Harmony Hill in Washington. Which starts this Thursday thru Saturday. Then we will take some extra days and drive down the coast before we come home next week.
Thank you for praying for us and for reading my blog. Please continue to keep us in your prayers and hope that this experimental chemo will work a miracle for us.
-Your Friend Kamille