Monday, September 24, 2012

Hello there! Clint is pretty tired and trying hard to manage his pain without taking too much medicine. Because of them removing so much of his abdomen wall that was contaminated with cancer he now has a large hernia on his right side. Most days it's the culprit to a lot of Clint's discomfort.(besides him walking around with no right hip crest)

When we saw the tumor reconstruction specialist, Dr Vargo. He had to pull us in his office to show us the MRI because on the side he needed to repair the hernia there is no bone, cartilage, muscle, or tissue for him to secure the stitches to. Thus putting Clint through another major surgery with slim chances of success.  He stated to live with the hernia pain as long as possible and then come back and see him.

When we went to Clint's cancer specialist who referred us to Dr Vargo he stated Clint is the first case that he referred to Dr Vargo that he couldn't fix! Seriously!? 

Each day I watch him enduring the pain and discomfort without ever complaining. And I think to myself what an example of courage.  He could complain and be miserable but he  chooses to not let this cancer control his life. If I stub my toe I complain! I need to be more like Clint!

I'm so in love with him, and so grateful he is here and has the energy and attitude to fight this horrible disease. 

We are so grateful for every one's concern and support.  It's so neat to be able to see the humanity and love that people have. Since he has been unable to work since December of 2011 many have asked us if they could help donate a few dollars when they have extra so we just figured out how to add a donation button to Clint's Blog. 

-thanks again for keeping my Cancer Warrior in your prayers!

Monday, September 17, 2012

Live your lives

Hi to all those who are concerned for Clint (who isn't he's the freakin' MAN) We talked to the doctor tonight and he said that there's multiple little pieces of sarcoma growing in his pelvic region. Poop....what's the next step?! 

Since this cancer is un treatable from chemo and radiation we will just wait until December and re-do all the tests and see how fast it's growing. Clint has been through so much the last little while and it's a nice relief to hear that even though it's there we will be able to have a break for awhile. 

So our Job:
-to try not and think about it until December 
- Live, Laugh, and LOVE LIFE

So that's what we are gonna do! Thank you so much for your support, prayers, concern, and love we couldn't do it without you! 

Cancer sucks but that doesn't mean your life has to be sucky!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Well the radiologist reported yesterday that Clint's cancer is growing back in multiple places.  What more can I say?! Sad is an understatement, but it could be worse....
(that's what people keep sayin')
I guess this time around the news isn't as shocking, but it doesn't make it any easier

  It breaks my heart.....

Why do some people have to deal with more challenges than others? They have to be some sort of special breed don't you think? He's emotionally and physically going through so much yet he has the energy to smile and help others.

 It's truly inspiring to be apart of this relationship. He strengthens me and drives me to be a better person.  This might be unlucky news (to say the least) but I'm the luckiest girl in the world to be married to him! He's my SUPERHERO!

Isn't this quote great? I thought so too.....  

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Clint the Cancer Warrior Introduction

Hi I'd like to tell you about how I met and fell in love with one of the Greatest Men on the Planet

Clint Bauer 
The Cancer Warrior

In February of 2000 he left the United States and was serving an LDS mission in Rio Dejaniro Brazil and noticed a lump growing near his right hip.  Doctors sent him back to America for testing and found out it was Chondra Sarcoma Bone Cancer.

In October of 2000 they operated and removed his entire right hip crest and after weeks in the hospital and months of horrific rehab he was trying to regain his life back. Where are the pictures? Well hold on I wasn't in his life until six months later when destiny found us working at the same job.  

A lawn care company! I scheduled appointments and he sprayed lawns. And I knew as soon as I saw him I would have to schedule a date with him!! He is my Prince Charming and this is our Fairy Tale.... 

On June 7, 2002 I married Clint Bauer 

{aka The Cancer Warrior} 

we have been married for 10 years now and
We have three kids....(who look just like him!)

Neiska Lynn Bauer who is 11 

 (she was named after my Grandma from Holland)

Gunner Clint Bauer or as most people call him....Mini Clint....he's 8

Then there's the baby....Wyatt Vance Bauer

 who's 3 now and growing way too fast! 
(he does however have my curly hair)

 He is my Dream Man and being with him makes me want to be a better person every day

We made sure and went to all the appointments and x-rays every six months, then every year,  and at his 5 year appointment they declared him cancer free.  We were so excited because being clear for that long meant that it was not coming back.....

In the fall of 2011 I noticed he was not feeling good-he was extremely tired, he was more achy, and he couldn't lose weight no matter what he tried!

He would come home from work frustrated that all he would eat would be vegetables and a yogurt and he couldn't understand why he couldn't lose weight.  We also noticed the right side of his hip looked and felt hard. Being the concerned wife I made an appointment with his Cancer Specialist immediately.

  When we initially saw him on November 29th 2011 he said the x-rays looked good, but after examination he wanted him to get a MRI and CT scan.  We couldn't get in until December 11th, 2011 so we figured it wasn't that big of a concern because of the appointment delay.  But the next day we soon realized it was

The worst day of our lives

December 12th 2011: him and I were awaiting THE results at the Huntsman Cancer Hospital.( It's not a good sign if you are waiting for a really long time in a room you normally never go in, and the doctor asks his assistant for the entire box of tissues.)

 Needless to say our lives stopped when they delivered the news...Chondra Sarcoma stage 2 {aka. sucky bone cancer} 
and the statistics of it coming back after this long....wait there is no statistics it NEVER happens.  But we found out it was back worse than before.

There should be a rule:
 if a person has had cancer before they should NOT get it AGAIN!

But alas the universe has different plans

On December 28th 2011 they operated for 10 hours and removed over 20 lbs of bone cancer tumors.

Yes, he pretty much delivered a cancer toddler that I named Boone. [Clint said to me when I was pregnant with our second son that we should name him Boone{barf} and I told him he should've married someone else if he wanted to name one of his sons that!...

So naturally with him birthing this cancer toddler it just seemed fitting to name him Boone...don't ya think?!

  I of course was curious to see what this baby looked like.   For those of you who are curious too I've included pictures of this nasty bad boy!

Warning to the queasy Nasty pictures of Boone the cancer toddler below

There is an actual ruler below with the cancer measuring over 15" 

The team of doctors said they literally filleted him out onto two operating tables

 As you can see they didn't lie.   He officially looked like he had been bitten by a shark. 

 But even being bitten by a shark and feeling hit by a truck....He still looked freakin' hot!

 He's so cute I even had to wake him in the hospital at 11:59pm on New Years Eve so I could get my New Year's Kiss

I know our fairy tale isn't perfect, but with him in it it's the 
Perfect Fairy Tale for me....;)


Could you imagine the worse week of your life ending with a trip to HAWAII?  Well neither could I until it happened to me.

On Monday December 12th 2011 "THE DAY" when we found out my husband's bone cancer was back, were put into a whirlwind of tests.  And on December 14th they scheduled a small surgery to biopsy the cancer to see what stage it had moved to. 

I can't recall the last time I sobbed, but driving him home from that surgery it all started to hit me. 'What would I do if I lost my best friend, how could I go on without him?  If he survived  (and lost his leg like they were stating was the route they would have to take) how drastically  would our lives change?'

 I could envision his dreams of coaching our boys baseball teams, him giving our kids piggy back rides, the way he laughed-I could lose him....and then what?   So as I gripped the steering wheel I cried, like I can't remember crying ever before, all to my embarrassment, while he listened.  I felt guilty for letting him hear me cry like that.

So that night, when we got home, my father in law called and said "Pack your bags, you and Clint have an 8:30am flight to Hawaii for the weekend to escape reality." We were going to be leaving Thursday morning, have the weekend, and be able to fly through the night on Sunday to be back just in time for his 10:30am doctors appointment Monday morning!

How do you thank someone for a gift so....AMAZING, so.....PERFECT!? Now, instead of the family funeral procession for the weekend, we would be getting away where nobody knew our problems....where we could think about something else other than our recent dish of reality!!! There are no words for the gratitude we have for that gift.

For the plane ride I (OF COURSE) brought knitting.  On the flight over I turned to Clint and asked him what I could make him that he could use.  He thought for a second and replied  "Fingerless Gloves?"  So I had a mission:

to design THE perfect pair of fingerless gloves for my Cancer Warrior!

As he tried on his perfect pair he looked at me and said "You know what you should do?  Make a pair for Dr. Randall and we could give it to him on Monday as a Christmas present!" Perfect! I now had another pair to make.

Hawaii was............. AMAZING!!
the warm air

The FOOD. (Bubba Gumps you will now be apart of our top 10 BEST entree's EVER!)

Getting laid!  Oh yeah...:) 

 not to mention eating at least one snow cone everyday (obviously calories were not worried about either), Hawaii style with ice cream on the bottom and Kauai cream on the top! (NOBODY makes better snow cones than Hawaii-period)

and having a DOUBLE scoop of Lappert's Ice Cream!  {side note}I am an ice cream connoisseur, and this ice cream has been in my dreams for years!  I had put my lips to this succulent stuff when I came with my family to Hawaii over 15 years ago!(I know if you look closely my size is triple his and I'll admit....I'm a FREAK!)

But most importantly walking hand in hand with my man while..... 

our problems melted into the sand.  

On Monday morning (with sand still between our toes) we were back in the doctors office, back to reality.
Clint and I had just enough time to wrap our hand knit fingerless gloves with a note:

To Dr Randall,
Merry Christmas.  Here's a gift for your hands-because your hands are a gift to us.
The Bauer's 

Bad news continues


I Can Do Hard Things

How do you get through times in your lives that seem to difficult to survive? 

 Clint's holding the gift that my sister Jamie sent me.  I know it's a simple statement but it has helped push me through the days lately.

As I have shared before my husband has been battling Bone Cancer.  In December 2011 he underwent MAJOR surgery, removing over 20lbs of cancer.  On Monday we went back for his first MRI since the surgery only to find out that it's returned. 

Heart broken, defeated, and depressed....we knew it would be something we would have to deal with for awhile, but thissoon wasn't something we wanted to enter our thoughts.  With his previous incision being so large and still swollen playing the waiting game seems to be our best option.  In  6 weeks we will re-do the MRI and CT scan and evaluate how much it's grown....and then more surgery.

How do you keep climbing when the mountain before you seems too steep? Like Dori from Finding Nemo says "Just keep climbing swimming" I know it's corny, but its really true

Don't only swim but look around while you are 'swimming' to see those 'swimming' around you. I'm blessed to have such great friends and family and their concern, calls, and comments have helped me inch my way through the last couple days 

 It's also hard to be sad when you have one of these at your house?

 (with the exception of today when he got car sick on the way to the doctors and threw up ALL OVER himself. Lucky for me Clint-who packed the diaper bag, forgot the wipes and an extra outfit......:) So if you were at the mall today and saw a mom running in The Children's Place with a baby that only had a diaper it very well could of been me!

When you are down and can only think of one thing remember YOU CAN do HARD things! Take it from me, it might not be enjoyable but it's possible



As many of you know my Dream Machine husband has been battling bone cancer again the last six months

 today is another operation.....I hope and pray everything will be okay.  Thanks for your thoughts, prayers, concern, and support.

 I couldn't ask for a better man to share my life with. We sat there and laughed the other day because next week we will be married for ten years and we won't be exactly celebrating as we had pictured we would!

But the truth is- times have been hard (to say the least), but I know he's the perfect man for me! If going through all of this heartache, despair, and stress means I get to be with him then I wouldn't want it any other way.  I'm so grateful for a man that makes me learn everyday how to be a better person. I love you Clint

surgery May 30th 2012

School is out and the days are looking sunny...hopefully that's a metaphor for our life...;)

I have told you before my husband Clint has been a Bone Cancer Warrior  
His surgery Wednesday went as good as can be expected.  This time instead of his hip and abdomen, the cancer was in the right side of his groin area. 

*warning graphic picture below

The doctor said this surgery was like "Getting a piece of gum out of a big bowl of spaghetti." With all of his nerves, blood vessels, and it being deep into the pelvic cavity-it was almost as tricky as removing as the 20lbs of tumors were in December 2011

He's now at home getting hugs and a nurse named Kamille to give him his medications, clean his drain, and give him shots 2x a day.  (That nurse is flippin' awesome and we're so lucky she will take kisses for payments:)

Since he's been sick this time around I can tell I've lost myuuumph. I try hard to stay positive and take it one day at a time, but some days are easier than others.  I can tell that prayers are working because on days I'm having a hard time-he somehow finds the way to make me smile. 

When I brought Clint home today I stood in the kitchen filling up his water mug and just cried...why? Thankfulness...fatigue...stress...who knows?  I wish I did, but I'm grateful he's home.

We found out he has developed a large hernia since they removed so much of his abdomen wall in Decembers surgery and our next step is reconstruction of his abdomen lining/hernia surgery after he heals from this week surgery.

TUESDAY, JUNE 19, 2012

Clint Update

Yesterday we took Clint in for his 2 week post op appointment since his surgery
The Bone Cancer this time was deep into his right groin.  They said removing this cancer was like getting a sticky piece of gum out of a bowl of spaghetti with all the nerves and blood vessels.

  He has lost more feeling in his right leg, but the key thingin this sentence is....
he still has a right leg! 

We are so lucky that he has such great care at The Huntsman Cancer Institute 

Dr Randall Rocks

Pretty much the next step with the cancer is wait and see if his MRI in September comes back with no cancer *please God we are saying UNCLE 

Then we see the tumor reconstruction specialist in July for his Hernia surgery. I know we will be a lot happier when he will be able to have surgeries behind us and be able to focus on getting better and stronger. 

Clint is such an AMAZING man!  He's such a great example to everyone, when life keep going. Everyday I'm reminded I want to grow up and be just like him...:)

- his strength, faith, and courage rivals that of Super Heroes. My kids will be able to grow up and learn how lucky we are to have this SuperMan in our lives..;)

You're the Best Baby....;)

Cancer Ribbons and Warrior Update


Clint Update

We all know the pink ribbon symbolizes the fight against breast cancer, but did you know each cancer has its own ribbon color? I didn't really think about it until last week.  WithClint's fight I've been wondering if Bone Cancer had a specific ribbon color of its own, so I started looking into it.  

The following is the Cancer Ribbon colors

isn't that interesting and sad at the same time? To think of how this horrible disease can permeate it's way into lives in so many different ways. Cancer just sucks.  I'm extremely grateful for the technology that saves lives.  To think Clint wouldn't be here without such amazing doctors and technology makes me so thankful

The question........

How's he doing? 

He's been hanging in there, the last couple of weeks we have struggled more. He has started to rehab since his most recent surgery and since then he has been more tired, dizzy, and achy. 

 Living in pain will be a permanent fixture in his life I fear. With so much bone removal and muscle reconstruction it's a miracle he can even walk!  I feel so helpless and sad to think that he will always be in pain.

That's probably the hardest part for me-to see his quality of life decline and parts of him disappear with it.  I try my hardest to not let it get to me, but sometimes I can't help but cry. Cry for the hope of a better life for him, cry for life's rocky road to smooth out for a little while.

 I know he feels so bad, helpless and frustrated that our life has taken a detour through the swamp.  But I wouldn't have it any other way if it means I get to be with him! I just need to find some waiters so the mud won't slow us down..:) Is that possible?  I think you can be in some of the worst of situations and still try to be happy.  That's what I've been trying to do each day: 

Learn to Do Hard Things with Happiness

It's too exhausting to be sad isn't it?  I've really been trying to be happy and look at what we do have to smile about. How do you keep a good attitude when life is hard? I'm grateful for good friends and family that help lift me up and help me get through the hard days. 

Our next step is his first MRI since his latest cancer removal.  It will be September 10th and right after the MRI that day we go to get the results at the doctors. I can't tell you how paranoid and nervous we are that they didn't get it all....or that it's growing back. 

 I know it will be something we will always have to deal with, but we need a break for awhile.  Don't you think? We are officially saying 'UNCLE'  
*keep your fingers crossed for us* (I will keep you posted on the results)

We did go to Thanksgiving Point on Friday with Wyatt. If you ever come to Utah it's a must see!

We rented a golf cart (or chooo chooo Wyatt called it) and rode around the gardens 

(we didn't pick that flower one of the gardeners gave it to us!)

It was so beautiful and fun to get out....

and a plus Wyatt didn't throw up in the car either way there!

And check out those cowboy boots....the Bauer's have bredanother cowboy boot lover.  

Wyatt just wants to be like his brother....Cowboy Gunner